The Marriage Agreement 90% of Spanish Couples Sign That Would Horrify Americans

There is a form couples here sign before the flowers wilt. It is four pages, it lives at a notary, and it says this in plain Spanish: what is yours stays yours, what is mine stays mine. No drama, no courtroom speeches. In much of Spain the default regime is still community property, but in the big cities you will hear the same sentence from notaries over coffee: new professional couples almost always choose separación de bienes. Call it 80 to 90 percent in urban offices this decade. The point is not the exact percentage. The point is the norm flips. People protect each other by keeping finances clean.

What the agreement actually is

They are called capitulaciones matrimoniales. You sit in a notary’s office, show your IDs, and sign a deed choosing one of Spain’s legal marriage property regimes. The most common choice in Madrid, Valencia, Seville, Basque capitals, and much of the commuter belt is separación de bienes. That phrase means each spouse owns their income, assets, and debts separately. Joint things are joint because you decide so, not because the calendar says you are married.

In the default regime of many regions, sociedad de gananciales, everything earned during the marriage becomes common property by law, with clear carve-outs for pre-marital assets and inheritances. Catalonia and the Balearic Islands are different because their default is already separación de bienes, which is why couples there barely think about it. The short version across Spain is this: if you want separation and you do not live where it is the default, you must sign.

A 15-minute notarial deed can prevent 15 months of legal fog.

Why couples pick separation even when they are happy

You will hear three reasons repeated with no bitterness. First, careers are lumpy. One spouse takes a risk, opens a small company, and does not want to drag the other into a bank’s recovery department if a contract goes sideways. Second, families help unevenly. A parent gifts €30,000 for a down payment to one child. Separation makes the gift stay with the child while the couple still builds a life. Third, clarity is mercy. When breakups happen, clean ledgers mean clean exits.

This is not a test of love. The logic is administrative. “I love you, so I will not tie you to my business debts” is a sentence people say here without flinching. It is less romantic than a speech and far kinder in practice.

The money math in a real example

Two people marry in Madrid. One earns €62,000 and carries €18,000 in business risk as a sole trader. The other earns €41,000 and receives €25,000 from family for a flat deposit. They sign separación de bienes before the wedding for €80 to €150 in notary fees, plus a small Registro Civil inscription cost where applicable. They buy a €300,000 flat. Title shows 60 percent to one, 40 percent to the other, matching the actual cash in. Mortgage is shared because they want it that way.

Ten years later, if they sell, each receives their percentage after clearing the loan. If they split in year four, the book is already balanced. No lawyer has to reconstruct who paid which sofa or which paint. The deed speaks. You will not like how dry this sounds. Dry beats expensive.

What you sign, where, and how long it takes

You make an appointment with a notario, bring your DNI/NIE and passports, and say the literal words: “queremos otorgar capitulaciones matrimoniales con el régimen de separación de bienes”. The notary drafts the deed, reads it out loud, and you sign. If you are engaged, you do it before the wedding. If you are already married, you can still switch regimes by signing capitulaciones and asking the notary to notify Registro Civil.

Costs are modest. In most cities the fee sits between €60 and €180 depending on pages and extras. If you add inventario of premarital assets, it may rise slightly. Many couples pair this with simple mirror wills later in the year for €45 to €80 each, which keeps inheritances from becoming a seasonal sport. Small money, giant clarity.

One boring detail that matters: tell the notary your municipality so they handle the registration notice properly. Paper in the right inbox is half the victory.

What changes for day-to-day life

Little things get cleaner. Bank accounts can remain individual. Savings are tracked in two columns, then you open a joint account for rent, groceries, and utilities if you want the convenience. When one spouse buys a car, the car is theirs on the title and on paper, not conceptually. If you buy a home together, the title states percentages. If money ratios change over time, you sign acknowledgment addenda at the moment of change, not after.

Bold truth inside the mundane: the agreement is not a lifestyle, it is a ledger.

One warning because it saves headaches. Debt follows signature. If you co-sign a loan out of courtesy, separation does not protect you from your own signature. The regime protects you from their solo signature. People mix those up.

The part that would horrify Americans

It is not the separation idea. Americans already know prenuptials. The shock is how normal and cheap this is. No courtroom, no discovery, no months of billable hours arguing about a Peloton’s market value. A couple can disagree deeply and still sit at a notary for twenty quiet minutes because Spanish private law turns feelings into documents.

Another surprise for visitors is regional defaults. In Catalonia, Balearics, and Aragon, couples are under separation without signing anything because that is the default civil law there. Elsewhere, the default is community unless you choose otherwise. Different legal histories, same country, and people manage it without drama. The horror, if there is any, comes from realizing how much noise in other places is optional.

What about inheritances and gifts

Two strong rules hold. First, inheritances and gifts are private by default across regimes if they are explicitly personal. If your aunt leaves you €50,000 in a will naming you, that money is yours alone unless you mix it into joint titles on purpose. Second, if you pour inherited money into a joint asset, record the contribution with a notarial note so nobody forgets. In separation, the record backs the math. In community, the record proves your “privativo” portion inside the joint pot.

Inheritance stays clean only if you keep the paper clean.

Business owners and freelancers

Here is where separation matters most. Autónomos and small company directors sleep better knowing personal assets of the other spouse are shielded from business creditors, provided no joint guarantees were signed. It is not immunity. It is good fencing. Banks in Spain often ask for aval from a spouse on bigger facilities. Saying no becomes simpler when you can point to a separación de bienes deed and explain that the home title is in one name only. Banks respect fences they can see.

Add a simple shareholder agreement if you hold a company. The marriage regime is not a company statute. Two documents, two purposes, and your accountant will sleep as well.

Common myths, corrected in one breath each

“Separation means we split bills 50/50 forever.”
No. You choose how to pay. The regime defines ownership and liability, not who buys lemons.

“If we have kids, community is better.”
Children change custody, time, and housing questions. Property regime does not decide parenting. Families thrive under either.

“We cannot get a mortgage under separation.”
Banks finance couples under separation every day. They simply write two borrowers and take two incomes. They care about repayment, not your regime romantics.

“We can just figure it out if we divorce.”
You can. Or sign now for €100 and never reconstruct a decade in front of two lawyers and a tired judge.

This is paperwork, not a personality test.

What happens on divorce or death under separation

On divorce, each keeps their own assets and debts. Joint assets are sold or bought out, and courts handle custody, support, and housing use. The property math is fast because it was decided the day you signed. On death, Spanish forced-heirship rules still exist, and community versus separation interacts with them. Under separation, a spouse does not automatically own half the other’s assets. Wills matter. Most couples sign simple wills reflecting usufruct rights for the survivor and nuda propiedad for children. Notaries do this all day.

If you are not ready for wills now, write a one-page letter of wishes and book a will later. The marriage deed does not replace a will.

How expat couples handle cross-border assets

If you have assets in two countries, state the regime on any purchase in Spain and mirror clarity abroad where possible. A flat in Madrid titled 70–30 under separation is easy to manage. A house in another country titled vaguely as “marital property” can create work. Tell your Spanish notary about foreign marriages and divorces. They do not need gossip. They need dates and documents.

For Americans marrying or married in Spain, community property in one jurisdiction and separation in another can collide. The practical fix is the same every time: write down what you want and sign the local deeds correctly. Borders like paper more than speeches.

How to choose if you are already engaged

Ask three questions at a kitchen table. One, does either of us run business risk. Two, will family gifts likely be uneven. Three, do we want the default regime or do we want to name our regime. If any yes appears, book a notary. If you both prefer community and like the idea of a single pot, stay with gananciales where it is the default. You are not wrong. You are choosing deliberately.

If you are in Catalonia or the Balearics and want community, you must sign to opt in. The point is to decide, not to inherit a default by inertia.

The short appointment script that makes the notary smile

• “Queremos otorgar capitulaciones matrimoniales y elegir el régimen de separación de bienes.”
• “Adjuntamos DNI o NIE y pedimos que se notifique al Registro Civil.”
• “Incluya mención a las aportaciones iniciales que constan en inventario.”
• “Nos gustaría una copia autorizada y una simple.”

Bring IDs, family book if already married, and list of premarital assets if you want them noted. You sign, you pay, you leave with copies. Simple.

Housing under separation: how to title without friction

When you buy, the deed includes percentages. If one person contributes €40,000 of deposit and the other €20,000, you might set 60–40 on title. If later you invest another €10,000 into renovations from one side, sign a small notarial acknowledgment that the money was privativo. If the short-term plan is to keep shares 50–50 while one contributes more cash now, write that too as a loan between spouses with terms or an acknowledgment without interest. Write before memory fails.

Title reflects math only if you tell the notary the math.

For parejas de hecho and why the same mindset still helps

Registered partnerships vary by autonomous community. Some offer inheritance tax advantages and public benefits access similar to marriage, others do less. Property regimes do not attach automatically to parejas de hecho the way they do to marriage. Which is a long way of saying: write a co-ownership agreement if you buy, and make wills. The separation mindset still applies because there is no automatic “pot” unless you create one.

How long does any of this take and what to bring

Time: usually 20 to 40 minutes in the chair, plus a short wait for copies.
Bring: official IDs, family book if applicable, padron if the notary requests for registration notice, and list of premarital assets if you want them in the deed.
Cost: plan €60 to €180 for the deed, €0 to €30 for registration notices, €5 to €20 per extra copy. Prices vary by province, but this is the right air.

Objections people raise, answered without theater

“It feels cold.”
Clarity often feels cold until it prevents a burn. Kindness in law looks like precision.

“We will never split.”
Plan for the 364 normal days and the one strange day. That is what adults do.

“My parents will think I do not trust my spouse.”
Tell them the truth. You trust your spouse. You do not trust luck.

“This is not romantic.”
Marriage is a thousand unromantic tasks that protect the romantic core. This is one of them.

“We live in Catalonia so we can ignore this.”
You can. Or you can still sign and keep a copy, which helps when crossing borders or dealing with institutions who do not know regional defaults.

Spain treats marriage property like a menu you actually choose from. Most urban couples pick separation because it protects the family from the realities of money and work. It is short, it is cheap, and it prevents fights nobody planned to have. If the idea horrifies you, that is fine. Walk into a notary anyway, ask what couples in your neighborhood sign, and decide with a pen instead of a story. Clarity is not unromantic. It is a gift you give each other.