The Marriage Contract Most Europeans Sign That Americans Call Unromantic

It is not a threat, it is housekeeping. Across Europe, couples choose a property regime with a notary before or after the wedding so love and money stop tripping over each other later.

Walk into a notary’s office in Paris on a Thursday afternoon and the room feels calm, almost bureaucratic. A young couple slides passports across the desk. The notary explains two options in plain language, prints a few pages, stamps them, and wishes them a good weekend.

No drama. No courtroom. No tears. Just a marriage contract filed before the party.

If your mental picture of a “prenup” is a rich person’s shield or a last minute power play, the European version looks strange. In much of Europe, choosing a marital property regime is a normal adult task that happens before you set a table registry. It lives with the wedding license and the apartment lease, not with suspicion. The paperwork is there so romance does not have to carry the whole administrative load of a shared life.

Below is a clear map to what Europeans actually sign, how it works country by country, why Americans sometimes call it unromantic, and how you can borrow the useful parts without importing the anxiety.

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What Europeans mean by “prenup”

In most European countries, what Americans call a prenup is a marriage contract that selects a property regime for the relationship. The contract does three things well: it tells you what is shared, what stays separate, and how to change it later with another visit to the notary.

The default is set by law. If you marry without a contract in France, you enter the legal community of after-acquired property by default, and anything you bring into the marriage stays yours. You can opt for separation of property with a notarized contract before or after the wedding. Default exists, opt-out is simple, a notary is mandatory.

Spain works the same way with regional spice. The national default is usually sociedad de gananciales (community of property acquired during marriage). In Catalonia and some other regions the default is separación de bienes, meaning each spouse keeps their own property unless they agree otherwise. The choice is made in capitulaciones matrimoniales, a short notarial deed recorded in a registry. Defaults vary by region, the deed is brief, the registry makes it official.

Germany’s default is Zugewinngemeinschaft, the community of accrued gains. What you own on day one remains yours, what you build up during the marriage is split in a specific way if you divorce. Couples can sign an Ehevertrag with a notary to switch to separation or full community, and some entries connect to the land register so property records match your regime. Accrued gains as default, marriage contract to change, ties to property registers.

Italy’s default is comunione legale, the community of property created during marriage, but couples can choose separazione dei beni verbally at the ceremony or later before a notary. The language is plain, the step is routine, and you can switch regimes after the wedding with another notarized convention. Choice at the altar, notary later if you change, ordinary paperwork.

The Netherlands flipped its default in 2018 to a limited community of property, which keeps premarital and inherited assets outside the shared pot unless you contract differently. You can choose broader community or set bespoke terms in huwelijkse voorwaarden with a civil-law notary. Modern limited default, contract expands or narrows, notary required.

Nordic countries use similar tools, but they love registries. In Sweden, a prenup is an äktenskapsförord filed with the Tax Agency so the rule is public. In Norway, an ektepakt is registered to gain protection against creditors. Register the contract, simple forms, public notice solves conflicts.

The United Kingdom is different. Prenups are not automatically binding in England and Wales, yet since Radmacher v Granatino in 2010 courts give them decisive weight if they are entered freely with full disclosure and the outcome is fair. In 2025, Parliament’s own library describes prenups as influential, though still subject to judicial review. Strong persuasive force, fairness and disclosure matter, not absolute.

Across these systems, the shape repeats: a default, a contract to choose differently, a notary or registry to seal it.

Why Americans call it unromantic and Europeans call it normal

The American story centers on individual contracts drafted by lawyers, often used by people with large assets. The European story centers on off-the-shelf regimes available to everyone. When a step is ordinary, it feels practical rather than icy.

From the European side, the contract says three comforting things out loud. It says what happens to the apartment if one person owned it beforehand. It says whose business debts can touch joint assets. It says how to keep inheritances separate so family property does not dissolve by accident. Clarity about the home, clarity about debt, clarity about inheritances. Those three calm later storms.

From the American side, the word “prenup” conjures a fight. It can signal mistrust, a belief that one person is planning an exit, or a demand that arrives with pressure attached. Because the U.S. system relies less on predefined regimes and more on bespoke contracts, the conversation is often heavier and more personal.

Once you see the European version, the tone changes. You are not inventing terms. You are selecting a regime, usually from two clean choices, and signing the same three pages your friends signed last year.

What a European marriage contract actually covers

A typical contract picks a regime and notes a few carve-outs. It does not try to micromanage household life.

The baseline choices are simple. Couples select community of property for assets acquired during marriage, separation of property for nearly everything, or the accrued-gains model where each keeps their own property but shares the growth during the marriage by a formula if they split. The baseline decides what is joint, what remains separate, and how to value the in-between on exit. One of three baselines, clear buckets, mechanism for the middle.

Then come small add-ons. Many couples specify that gifts and inheritances remain the property of the recipient no matter the regime. Entrepreneurs often carve out business assets so a company is not pulled into divorce equalization or creditor claims. People with children from prior relationships sometimes include inheritance planning that keeps specific assets pointed at those children. Gifts and inheritances protected, businesses ring-fenced, prior-child bequests respected.

Importantly, these contracts do not set parenting time or future child support. European courts keep child matters inside public policy. Nor do they cut off essential maintenance that a court later finds necessary. Kids are outside the contract, minimum fairness is not waivable, courts still watch the edges.

How the “unromantic” paper saves you from expensive surprises

Think in scenes, not theory.

You bring an apartment into the marriage. Under separation in Spain, that apartment stays yours, and the increase in value stays yours unless you agreed otherwise. Under community, the increase during marriage may be shared, and the mortgage you pay with joint income is treated accordingly. Clarity on premarital homes, clarity on appreciation, clarity on mortgages.

You own a small company in Germany. Under the default accrued-gains model, the company itself stays yours, but the growth in your net wealth during marriage counts in the equalization math. Many owners sign an Ehevertrag to adjust the formula or switch to separation so the firm’s cash flow is not distorted by a later payout. Company stays intact, growth is handled explicitly, cash flow protected.

You live in Italy and your partner carries heavy personal debt. Couples often choose separazione dei beni so a creditor cannot reach the other spouse’s separate assets. The choice is made at the marriage ceremony with a single sentence, or later before a notary, and recorded. Debt ring-fenced, one sentence at the ceremony, registry prevents confusion.

You move to the Netherlands after 2018. The limited community default means premarital property and inheritances are out unless you expand the pool by contract. For many second-marriage couples, that default feels fair. Premarital stays out, you can opt in by contract, post-2018 clarity by law.

In the Nordics, registration matters a lot. A Norwegian ektepakt that creates separate property must be registered to bind creditors, and a Swedish äktenskapsförord must be filed to be valid against third parties. Registration earns legal effect, creditor notice is the point, forms are standard.

None of this is romantic. It is sleep-at-night paperwork that keeps the family house, the shop you built, and your grandmother’s apartment from becoming bargaining chips.

How to sign one, when to sign, and what it costs

The choreography is simple and public. You book a short appointment with a notary, bring identification, and say which regime you choose. The notary prepares a deed, explains the effects in plain language, and files it with the proper registry. Short appointment, plain language, filing included.

When to sign varies. In France and Germany it is common to sign before the wedding, but you can also change regimes after with another notarized deed. In Italy you can choose at the ceremony or later. In Spain you sign capitulaciones either before or after, and the deed is recorded. Before or after the wedding, change possible later, recorded so third parties know.

Costs are modest compared to litigation. Fees differ by country and asset complexity, but you are paying for a brief, standard deed, not months of adversarial lawyering. In some systems, fees are regulated. The biggest expense is often the translation or extra advice when one spouse is foreign or owns complex assets. The value proposition is that a two hundred to eight hundred euro step prevents five to six figures of trouble later. Small fixed fee, regulated in places, saves real money later.

One practical note for mobile couples. Your habitual residence and first common domicile can matter for which law governs your property relations. In cross-border marriages, ask the notary about choice-of-law clauses so the same rule follows you when you move. Cross-border couples need choice-of-law, first home can set the rule, a clause prevents surprises.

What this means if you are moving or marrying abroad

If you are an American living in Europe, you do not need to adopt every local habit to get the benefit of this one. Think of a marriage contract as three favors you do for your future selves.

You give your relationship clarity so money fights shrink and logistics do not hijack affection. You give your kids predictability so inheritances are not scrambled across borders by default rules you never meant to choose. You give your work stability so a business can keep paying employees if your private life changes. Clarity for the couple, predictability for the kids, stability for the work.

If the word “prenup” still feels cold, change the frame. In Europe, the same piece of paper is a marriage settings file. You pick how the household handles property, debt, and gifts, the same way you pick who is on the lease and which bank accounts you will open. Once done, you do not think about it again until there is a real reason to.

Ask a notary what the default is where you live, decide if you like it, and if not, sign the three-page deed that picks the one you prefer. That is the whole move.